


As I fall down fainting

by F_oh_ex



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-13
Updated: 2016-02-13
Packaged: 2018-05-20 05:58:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,283
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5994021
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/F_oh_ex/pseuds/F_oh_ex
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A gift written for cazzy as a part of Reylo Valentines Gift Exchange 2016. The requested prompt was: "Kylo realizes that he really likes touching Rey so whenever they meet/fight he keeps doing the Force knockout/bridal-style pick up technique, but Rey always escapes and is kind of confused as to why he never really hurts her. And then Rey starts faking unconsciousness because she likes it too and tbh he's too weak with the Force to really knock her out anymore anyway"</p><p>Divided into 3 chapters. Set in film/novelisation canon in chapter 1, diverges from it a bit starting chapter 2. Spoilers for "The Force Awakens" (duh!).</p><p>English isn't my first language so while I'm fully capable of communicating in it, my literary language might be a bit awkward at times. I hope that everyone who happens to read it will enjoy it. Especially you, cazzy :)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [cazzy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/cazzy/gifts).



　　Kylo Ren was making his way through the forest in the direction the stormtroopers pointed. He chose to resolve this matter by himself. Unlike General Hux, that son of a schutta, he did not consider “lowering himself” to such a menial job a disgrace - he was never bothered by the thought of getting his gloves dirty in the field. The loyalty and competence of Hux’s stormtroopers were questionable at best but it was not the reason for which he decided to handle this matter personally. The true reason was that this was no menial job at all. It was too important and too personal to let anyone else do his job for him.  
　　He heard a noise of repetitive blaster shots being fired. He felt a presence of another being nearby, imprinted firmly by the strong emotions they oozed - mostly fear. Fear... the most basic, even animalistic of passions, which could fuel a Force-sensitive’s power, give him more strength than an adrenaline rush. It was the first emotion Jedi learnt to suppress, although, as the history showed, more often than not they would not learn it at all. It was no different with users of the Dark Side of the Force, only they didn’t suppress their feelings, they revelled in them, drew power from every tiniest bit of it... and then released it. Kylo Ren knew fear inside out. And following fear of another was easier than following a detailed map.  
　　He saw her soon enough, dressed all in beige, her knees shaking, her hand, tightly closed around a blaster’s hilt, trembling, her whole body shivering. Her fear would be palpable even to a person who wasn’t Force-sensitive. The droid was nowhere to be seen. She raised her hand and fired her weapon. He ignited his lightsaber and effortlessly deflected every single bolt. He didn’t run after her - he didn’t have to. The girl wasn’t running herself, she was walking backwards, not wanting to lose sight of him, and by the looks of she it, she was scared enough to trip over her own two feet any second. And trip she did.  
　　He extended his hand towards her, drawing on the power of the Force. The girl froze in mid-air, her head hanging no more than a few inches above the hard ground. Such acts were so simple to him that he did it intuitively, without needing to focus on it - that was the true mastery of the Force.  
　　As he approached her, he retracted his hand, pulling the girl up until she was standing on her feet again. He halted just before her, studying her. Her hand still was still clenched on the blaster - she never released it while falling, he noted. Her lips were trembling as if she were having a seizure or trying to scream while being unable to, held by a power unknown to her. It must have terrified her... it did terrify her, he felt. He trailed one of the beads of cold sweat on her forehead with a finger of his glove. He felt her body trying to shake under his touch but outside, nothing happened - her body wasn’t responding, it acted as if it were frozen in carbonite - like his stupid father once had been.  
　　“Aren’t you going to thank me for saving your pretty face from being smashed on the ground?” He chuckled softly, his voice deepened and hardened, must have sounded to her like an echo coming from inside of his mask.  
　　Her eyes cast lightning. Fear gave place to anger... he could even glimpse hatred there. Hatred and an intent to kill... “You would kill me. Knowing nothing about me”, he mused with a hint of admiration in his voice. He did admire the girl, the way she fought until the end, well, tried to fight, saying she fought him would be a gross overstatement. Still, she did face him rather than turn back and try to make a run for it. He had to give her that.  
　　“Why wouldn’t I kill you? I know about the First Order”, she snapped back at him. She was a feisty one, defiant, quick to reply boldly. Most seasoned warriors would soil their undergarments in her position and yet there she stood, terrified to be sure but less and less with each passing second, with a murderous spark in her eyes and a sharp tongue.  
　　“I would say otherwise. But that is a small thing. Simple ignorances are easily remedied.” He caressed her cheek gently. It must have been an insult to her wound for her, to be patronised like this, to have an enemy play with her rather than consider her a threat that should be dealt with. He felt the frustration rising in her and with it, anger. Good, that’s where he wanted her. Not terrified but angry, angry enough not to control herself, to let her every though be revealed...  
　　He moved his hand lower, cupping her chin strongly. He looked in her eyes for a brief second before pushing a wave of the Force into her brain. She clenched her teeth, unable to scream, she looked away, closed her eyes in the spike of an agony... And then he stopped.  
　　“Is it true, then? You’re nothing special after all? You’re just a Jakku scavenger?” He was a bit... disappointed? Somehow he had a feeling this girl was more than a common desert rat, and by the Force, he hated desert and the sand, it was coarse and rough and irritating and it got everywhere. He had a feeling that there was something unique about her... maybe he just needed to search deeper. He applied more pressure with his fingers and turned her head, forcing her to look at him.  
　　The second blast was stronger than the first, strong enough to throw her head back but this time, instead of running away, she tilted it forward, gazing into his mask, as if trying to pierce it with her eyes. She was in pain, desperate, on the precipice of breaking and falling apart. Being inside her mind, he felt it, and the steaming tears running down her face were another indicator of that. She was trying to resist him but it was futile, no matter how brave she was. Although he had to admit that she fared herself much better than the Resistance pilot... he had to rip away one thought, one memory after another away from her. What was interesting was that she didn’t crawl into a safe place within her skull where he couldn’t reach her, she placed herself in the front line, desperately throwing herself in to meet him head-on. He was impressed.  
　　“Hmm...”, he slightly tilted his head sideways. “You’ve met the traitor who served under me. A minor annoyance grown larger than he deserves. You find him more than tolerable...”. He took a pause, looking at her for a few seconds. She couldn’t see him through his mask and yet it seemed that she felt his amusement. “You’ve even begun to care for him... tsk tsk tsk”. He shook his head mockingly. “A weakness, such distractions...”.  
　　He brought his face closer to hers. He expect her to cringe, to try to escape, to close her eyes. She did none of that. She stared at him defiantly and for a moment he wasn’t able to read her... but only for a moment.  
　　“You’ve seen it! The map! It’s in your mind right now!” He exclaimed loudly, not being able to contain his excitement. He didn’t need the droid now that he had the girl, with a map in her mind... but how did she get the droid to show it to her?  
　　He glanced back at her, feeling the change in her condition. She was trembling, terrified once more, both of what he was doing to her and of what he’s just learnt. And she was in pain. He quickly retracted from her mind, not wanting to cause her more suffering than it was necessary. She gasped silently, greedily breathing the air. She looked more surprised and relieved. Kylo Ren was surprised too. He’s just showed compassion to that girl... why did he do that?  
　　He moved his hand over her forehead, overwhelming her with Force. The girl immediately lost her consciousness. One of his hands quickly found itself under her back to keep her from falling, the other grabbed her legs. Holding her like a groom holds his bride he realised that this girl is no ordinary scavenger at all. Not only did she succeed in taking hold of the map, the single most important thing in the entire galaxy, she actually managed to resist him. Only a little bit, of course, barely enough for him to notice that, but she did and her resistance was driven by her anger and determination to defy him. If what he felt about her was true, if she was an unaware Force-sensitive, unaware but strong in the Force... that just made her as big a prize as the map inside her mind.  
　　He realised he’s been standing idly for a good moment now. His hand slowly moved across her thigh. He looked at her face. Only now did he notice how pretty he was, now that all the anger and defiance were gone, she looked like a delicate flower... He moved his face closer to hers in such a way that his mask touched her forehead.  
　　“To be continued”, he murmured softly.


	2. Chapter 2

　　Rey clang to the wall, murmuring under nose silent pleas to an unknown power that the stormtrooper patrol doesn’t notice her. Luckily for her, they didn’t and once they passed her, she quickly went in the direction they came from. During her previous escape she’s made a mental map of this place - well, the part that she explored. The base was so enormous she probably didn’t even explore one percent of it. Now she was more oriented about the timing and routes of the patrols, and she would be able to find a few places to hide where she should be relatively safe. What would she do later? She didn’t know. Hide as best as she could and wait? Wait for what, a miracle? Maybe she would try to steal a ship from the hangar like Finn did... Truth be told, anything was better than a prison cell. And for now it was idle wondering anyway. She needed to get out of this level.  
　　She crawled into a ventilation shaft and stopped in order to catch her breath. No matter how many times she tried to analyse her current position, it didn’t seem to make much sense. She was a prisoner of the First Order for a good few days and she didn’t have a single injury on her. She was only interrogated once and although they didn’t get what they want from her, they never came back to try again. It was almost as if Kylo Ren didn’t wish to hurt her. But why? When he interrogated her and she felt the Force for the first time, she felt some kind of connection between her but this surely couldn’t be the reason. If anything, he would try to exploit that so that he might get into her head more easily.  
　　The man was a mystery to her. She was never scared half so much in her entire life as she was in that forest when he haunted her, an invincible beast handling a weapon against which she had no way to defend herself, wielding power of the Force which she couldn’t resist. It changed when he interrogated her. Something awoke inside. It was the Force, she knew, but it was still unfathomable to her, even after she’s managed to successfully use it - first against him to resist his attempts at getting the map from her, and later against stormtroopers guarding her cell in order to break loose. She’s done that twice now and while she struggled hard the first time, the second one went smoothly.  
　　Even though she managed to resist him, she still feared him after he left. She feared what he would do to her, what methods he would use in order to get the information from her. Her imagination had been running wild, devising tortures so horrific and sophisticated that even the First Order crew would shake upon hearing about them. But none of that ever happened. She didn’t see him again until her escape when she rain into him - or did he find her? It made no difference. She went down from being a stealthy Force-wielding operative to a scared girl in less than a second. It didn’t differ much from their encounter in the forest. She was just a scared scavenger and he was a monster straight out from her nightmares. There was nothing she could do. She was sure he would kill her - or worse - but that never happened either. She remembered standing there, unable to move, not knowing if it was his power or her own fear that held her immobilised, him approaching... and then she awoke in her cell, unharmed. Maybe the man wasn’t as cruel and ruthless as he made himself out to be? She would know that wasn’t all there was to him, she was inside his mind after all... The fact that he didn’t do anything to her for that, for acquiring such knowledge about him, was another wonder.  
　　She put her ear close to the hatch, listening to any noise. After making sure the corridor is empty, she quickly opened it and crawled out of the ventilation shaft, wasting no time, and closed it. If she made no mistake, she was now in the part of the base where technicians resided and worked. If she could steal a uniform, maybe she could blend in with the crowd... It should buy her some time and give her an opportunity to get some information she would surely need if she was going to somehow get out of this place.  
　　Carefully but swiftly, she made her way to the locker room. During her scavenging days she learnt a lot about opening things which that were sealed tight and employee lockers hardly posed any challenge. She broke into a first locker, second, third... “Damn it!”, she cursed. As if this masquerade wasn’t obvious enough to anyone who would care to take a longer look at her, all the uniforms she came across had male ID tags on them... She took a deep breath and closed her eyes. “This had better work...”, she whispered as she concentrated, opening her mind, letting the energy that would guide her inside.  
　　She opened her eyes and sharply turned her head. “That one”, she said decisively and crossed the room with quick, long strides. She opened the locker nervously and sighed with a relief upon inspection. Aiel might have been a weird name but at least it was a female uniform. She put the stolen blaster away on the locker as she started to get changed with a hurry. Orange... she hated that colour, it reminded her too much of the ever-present sands of Jakku. As she was removing her tunic, she heard a door opening, followed by an “I’m sorry!” shouted in an embarrassed voice. “A little privacy please, would you?!” she screamed at the closing door. “As if the situation wasn’t comical enough already...”, she thought to herself as she finished dressing up. She hid her old clothes in the locker, closed it, and hid the blaster under her clothes. Having made sure it isn’t visible, she made for the door.  
　　The guy was waiting for her and he flooded her with words the second she stepped out of that door. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to walk in on you dressing, I didn’t see anything, I swear, I really di-”, he halted when she brought a hand to his face, giving him a sign to shut up. “Not another word”, she said. “Let’s just pretend this never happened... Matt”, she added, looking at the name written on his uniform. He was blushing even more than she did and the glances he took at her from time to time from behind his glasses were nervous and full of embarrassment. She rolled her eyes. “Let’s just forget about it, okay?”, she asked, forcing herself to bring a smile to her lips and extended her hand to tousle his blond curls. He looked somewhat familiar to her but she couldn’t put a finger on whom he reminded her of... He immediately lightened up. Rey was never one to have a way with people, let alone try to manipulate them, but right now she had to use every resource she had at her disposal, and having someone to help her wasn’t bad at all.  
　　“So... Aiel” his eyes fell down to her chest where her name was written. It seemed her that they lingered there a bit longer than needed. “They need someone to fix some radars in the hangar. Do you... do you want to accompany me?”  
　　Pure sabacc. The hangar was just the place she needed to find herself in. “So what exactly do you do around here?” she asked, as they walked into a corridor filled with First Order employees and stormtroopers. “I’m just a radar technician...” he answered. He seemed tense for some reason. “I didn’t know they had radars in the hangar”, she looked at him curiously. “They need something fixed on board of Kylo Ren’s personal ship... Very important job, you know”, he laughed nervously.  
　　The name almost made her trip over her own feet right there and then. “You said... Kylo Ren?” she asked, unable to stop a tremble from his voice. “Yes, our glorious leader”, he exclaimed with upheaval. She gave him a confused look. “Have you ever met him?” Matt asked lively. He seemed to take quite an interest in the commander of the First Order... “I’ve seen him once or twice”, she answered with a shrug. That wasn’t even a lie, come to think of it. “Wow, you’re so lucky, I never got to see him.” He sounded fascinated by the fact she ran across him. There was definitely something weird about Matt, what sane person would drool over the thought of Kylo Ren? “A buddy of mine saw Kylo Ren take his shirt off in the shower though and he said Kylo Ren had an 8-pack. That Kylo Ren was shredded.”  
　　She didn’t manage to stop herself from exploding with laughter. A few people turned their heads in her direction but she couldn’t help it. “I’m sorry, do you actually mean... Kylo Ren?” she asked, trying not to choke from laughter. She wiped a tear from under her eye. “Your friend’s a liar, Matt. Kylo Ren is a punk bitch, that guy looks like he weighs 30 pounds soaking wet underneath that little black dress.” She made sure to lower her voice when she said that. It wouldn’t do her any good if anyone heard her saying that... “Matt? she asked, turning her head back to look at him, seeing he’s halted in the middle of a corridor.  
　　If stares could kill, she’d be a dead gal already. Apparently Matt didn’t take lightly to insulting his idol... “Matt!” she heard a voice from the corridor and a moment later she saw what looked to be an officer running towards them. “Matt”, he panted, trying to catch his breath. “You’re needed on the bridge, some big radar emergency”. That was weird. They sent an officer running to bring a radar technician? Oh well, weirder things have happened and this certainly wasn’t the most normal place in the galaxy. “You, move along!” the officer waved his hand at her, ordering her to go, as he grabbed Matt by the shoulder and dragged him in the opposite direction.  
　　“What in Millenium Falcon’s name was that?” she shook her head as she got into the lift which would take her to the hangar level. Once inside, hopefully she would be able to devise a plan of escaping and follow up with it. A long shot but the only one she had.  
　　Her jaw dropped when she walked into a hangar. She’s never seen so many starships in one place, and being interested in the subject, she could recognise that these machines were second to none. She allowed herself to gaze at them in admiration for a few seconds before returning to more practical analysis of the hangar. She wasn’t given much time, however, as she was quickly approached by one of the employees. “Aiel?” she asked and looked and her ID tag, then continued before she had a chance to open her mouth. “Since Matt is needed elsewhere, you’ll fix the radars on board Kylo Ren’s personal starship. It’s the one over there” he pointed his hand to a shiny white Lambda-class T-4a shuttle which looked just like the ones that were used by high ranking officials during the war thirty years ago. “Mimicking Darth Vader again, are we...” she whispered quietly and gave the man who approached her a nod as she went in the direction of the shuttle he pointed to her.  
　　“I have a bad feeling about this...”, she sighed as she entered the shuttle. It was small and it was dark inside. She squinted her eyes, trying to see something.  
　　“Need some light?”, she heard a familiar voice and a familiar crack. And she saw a familiar red glow. She felt she’s being pushed against a wall and a second later she had an edge of the lightsaber at her throat. Kylo Ren, this time without his mask on, was gazing at her furiously, seething. “I should kill you where you stand. This is the second time you attempt escape, scavenger”, she snapped her. “And I’m getting better at this. Maybe third luck will be the charm”, she laughed in his face.  
　　She didn’t care anymore, not after her hopes were stripped away from her the moment she let herself entertain them. To her surprise, his lips curved to form a smile. “I like your attitude, scavenger”, she said, pulling his lightsaber away. “Wha-” she didn’t finish. As he moved his hand across her forehead, the darkness swallowed her... But not whole. Too weak to move or to speak, she felt like she was fainting but she remained conscious. Conscious enough to feel him catch her as she was falling, his fingernails clawing into his thighs. Conscious enough to hear him say “Soon you’ll be mine”. Conscious enough to feel his lips on her cheek.  
　　Conscious enough to like it.


	3. Chapter 3

　　This time he knocked her out for good. He knocked her out each time he captured her although it would be more correct to say that he tried to knock her out. Maybe he didn’t put enough strength in it anymore or maybe he was just too weak to actually make her lose consciousness. Or perchance her unconscious control of the Force was becoming too much for him to tear through it effortlessly... She could feel it surging through her body, guiding her movements.  
　　She’s come to enjoy being captured by him. He’s never done her any harm, quite the contrary, actually. It was amusing to observe him when he was sure she was unconscious. The desire to say something witty or too chuckle was almost too much to bear at times... It took her some time to admit to herself that she liked it when he held her, carried her like a bride, touched her, planted gentle kisses on her skin... There was definitely some mental connection between them, explainable only by Force, only by what happened between them the day he tried to interrogate her. She tried to explain to herself that she cares for Ben, the boy Kylo Ren tried to push out of his mind, that she and no one else would be able to turn him back to the light, she even tried telling herself that maybe that’s why the Force caused their paths to cross.  
　　It was all nothing but a load of bantha crap.  
　　She could lie to herself when she was still his prisoner. She could even lie to herself when Finn, Han and Chewie came for her and she felt a sting of sadness at the thought that she would be leaving this place - leaving him - once and for all.  
　　But she couldn’t lie to herself anymore after she screamed, terrified, when Chewbacca shot him. She witnessed him just having killed his own father, who was like a father she never had to herself, and she was still worried about her, she still couldn’t stand seeing him getting hurt. He was a monster and she should be jumping at the first opportunity to hurt him, to make him pay, to avenge Han. But she wasn’t.  
　　She was just standing there, an ignited lightsaber in his hand. Finn was lying in the snow, unconscious. She looked at Kylo Ren. He was panting, holding his hip. A small pool of blood coloured the snow red like a sun on Jakku did the desert sand. She was shaking. She put her other hand on the lightsaber, clenched her teeth tight. She tried to gather al the anger she could find, tried to make herself hate him.  
　　“You monster!”, she screamed at him, rushing to attack him. He met her halfway, his lightsaber clashing with her own. She looked into his eyes as they struggled to overpower one another. She didn’t believe it would be any use but she tried it anyway. She had to. For the sake of her conscience. For the sake of Han who died for it.  
　　“Ben...”, she said quietly, looking at him pleadingly. “It’s still not too late. We can end it here. Leave it all behind, find Luke together. He will help you.”  
　　He took a step back, shaken by her words. For a brief moment she had a glimpse of hope. But only for a brief moment. “Ben is dead!”, he yelled at her, attacking her with a fury unlike any she’s ever witnessed in her life. “Just like my father is”, he continued slashing at her fiercely, not giving her even a moment to catch her breath. He was a trained duelist, while all she had was her instinct and some meagre experience with a staff. It was a one-sided battle. He had her desperately defending herself and taking step after step back. It reminded her of their first encounter.  
　　Her back slammed into a tree. He pressed her against it, moving their locked lightsaber just inches away from her face. She moved her head as far away from the sparkling beams of energy as she could.  
　　“Soon they will all be dead.”, he said more calmly, breathing heavily. “That traitor lying over there. Luke Skywalker. The Resistance.” He took a pause. “But you don’t have to share their fate.” As he looked in her eyes, she saw fires burning in his. “You need a teacher. I can show you the ways of the Force.” She could hear hope in his voice. Hope that she would join him.  
　　In an instant she suddenly knew what she must do. She calmed her breathing, slowing it down to a point where it almost halted. She allowed freezing air to claw at her skin like a pack of angry mynocks. She closed her eyes and she wasn’t here anymore. She was in the middle of the desert in Jakku, searching for something she could trade for food. She was in the cantina’s basement, touching Luke Skywalker’s lightsaber for the first time. She was in an interrogation cell, pushing Kylo Ren back. She felt the Force fill her whole, running through her veins and her synapses. She let it in, welcomed it, allowed it to overwhelm her.  
　　She opened her eyes. “Are you sure I need a teacher?”  
　　She pushed him back once more. She was fear in his eyes but sight was only a fraction of her perception right now. She could feel much more than she saw or heard. She felt his fear but not anger. Not hatred. Not an intent to kill. Without them, he couldn’t call on the power of the Dark Side, she knew. They both did.  
　　She had no training with a lightsaber but she didn’t need it. The Force was guiding her movements. She felt harmony, clarity, her body moved before she could think about it. Every strike she placed was two counters ahead of his and soon it was him who was hopelessly defending himself. With a swift and decisive, but careful and delicate, motion she cut his hand. He gasped in pain and dropped his weapon.  
　　“Your Dark Side is nothing without hatred. For what can you hope to fight if you need such emotions to be of any use? What good is your judgement?” she asked spitefully, holding a tip of her lightsaber’s blade just before his eye.  
　　He looked at her in silence. He felt ashamed, humiliated, afraid. But at the same time she felt something that she’s never felt from him before. And she knew he was much more surprised by his feelings than she was. She took a deep breath. Han couldn’t do it. Could she?  
　　“Kylo Ren would have killed me the second he had the chance to.” She slowly took her hand away, deactivating her lightsaber. “And he wouldn’t have lost to me. “You know this, Ben. Search your feelings, you know it to be true!”. He looked at her with sadness. It He was on the verge of crying. “It’s too late, Rey”, he said quietly. “I’ve just killed my father. I’m past the point of no return.”  
　　She studies his face, studies his feelings, studied his thoughts. He didn’t try to shield himself from her. Slowly she touched his hand, squeezed his fingers, grabbed it. She left her lightsaber in his hand. She saw confusion in his eyes, he couldn’t fathom what she’s just done. Truth be told, neither could she If she made a mistake, whole galaxy would be forced to suffer for it. “If what you say is true, you won’t hesitate to strike me down, will you?” There was no reaction from him. She brought his hand to her abdomen, pressed Luke’s lightsaber against her flesh. “Do it.” she said, staring at his eyes, piercing him with her gaze.  
　　After what seemed like eternity she heard a soft sound when the lightsaber fell in snow. Ben had tears in his eyes. “I can’t do it”, he said, shaking his head.  
　　She smiled and hugged him. “I knew.” Han would be proud of her. He would be proud of them both.  
　　She released him and turned her head to look at Finn, still lying unconscious in the snow. “How about you help me take him to the Falcon, and then you carry me there like you always do?”, she asked with a mischievious smirk and winked at him.  
　　What she said made Ben blush but also made him smile. He showed more emotions in this minute than during past few years, if the rumours the technician crew were spreading around him were true. “Rey...?”, he asked quietly. “Mmmm?”, she looked at him, tilting her head sideways. “How did you know I wouldn’t kill you”?  
　　She laughed and threw her hands around his neck. “You need to learn one thing, Ben. Women always figure out the truth.” She leaned and pressed her lips against his. “Always.”


End file.
